carneliandream

I went to the supermarket. It made me never want to eat again. No eye contact, but furtive glances into carts like underhung men in public toilets. Insipid jazz and florescent lights - carnuba wax and mechanically-separated chicken byproduct stuffed into a box, masquerading as sustenance in a fairground array of bright colours, crinkly foil, smiling multicultural advertisements. When you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation. And here we are now in the bottomless pit, surrounded by quick fixes and slow poisons, ensuring species subsistence on chemicals and cholesterol. Olestra. Synthetic fat, avaliable only in America. Only in Am

Forgive me, MOTHER, for I have sinned (at the sacristy in BABYLON I will lay me down) on my knees alone white marble shower calling for Mary underwater and the slippery red thought (o sweet virgin) that we will eventually destroy each other

The urge to create is tremendous, unbearable. My hands are nearly trembling with directionless anticipation. I'm gazing restlessly through windows at shifting green raiments on trees and surreal skies and trying in vain to find words to make these things real. Perception is painful... overwhelmed by the infinity of sensations I sit paralyzed, unable to comprehend on even the most basic level these things to which I ascribe so much empty meaning. A Russian doll of truth - beyond each layer of finality, of bare-bones reality lies another even more integral existence. Burning futility... I cannot capture even this simple moment in the cadence o